Musician Jokes‎ > ‎

Violin

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A fiddle is fun to listen to.
Why are viola jokes so short?
So violinists can understand them.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can't get up that high!
String players' motto: "It's better to be sharp than out of tune."
Why is a violinist like a SCUD missile?
Both are offensive and inaccurate.
What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle.
Why do violinists put a cloth between their chin and their instrument?
Violins don't have spit valves.
Why should you never try to drive a roof nail with a violin?
You might bend the nail.

Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert. "There's not much room on this page," he said. "What shall I write?"

Another violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint: "Write your repertoire."


"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.

"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."

"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

Comments