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Trombone Jokes

What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
  1. Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.
  2. It's easier to improvise on a chainsaw.

How can you make a french horn sound like a trombone?
  1. Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.
  2. Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes!

How do you know when a trombone player is at your door?
The doorbell drags.
What is a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't.
What is the rarest phrase in the English language?
"That's the trombone player's BMW"

What kind of calendar does a trombonist use for his gigs?
How can you tell which kid on a playground is the child of a trombonist?
He doesn't know how to use the slide, and he can't swing.
What do you call a trombonist with a beeper and a cellular telephone?
1. A optimist.
2. Bill  "Carwash" Gingrich
What is the difference between a dead trombone player lying in the road, and a dead squirrel lying in the road?
The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig.
How many trombonists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.
How do you know when there's a trombonist at your door?
His hat says "Domino's Pizza"
How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist's car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.
What is the dynamic range of the bass trombone?
On or off.

Q: What is another term for trombone?
A: A wind-driven, manually-operated pitch approximator.

Q: Why do people play trombone?
A: Because they can't move their fingers and read music at the same time.

Q: What's the latest crime wave in New York City?
A: Drive-by trombone solos.

It is difficult to trust anyone whose instrument changes shape as he plays it!