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Saxophone

Saxophone Jokes

You might notice that there are very few jokes about the clarinet. This is out of sympathy. The clarinet has already been the butt of so many jokes - the saxophone, for instance.

How many alto sax players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would have done it.
What's the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower?
  1. Lawn mowers sound better in small ensemles.
  2. The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it.
  3. The grip.

What's the difference between a baritone saxophone and a chain saw?
The exhaust.

Small wonder we have so much trouble with air pollution in the world when so much of it has passed through saxophones.


Did I tell you about the sax player that called me to get my telephone number?


Did you hear about the sax player that sent me a fax with a postage stamp on it?
How about the sax player that spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"?
Did you hear about the sax player (Ken McCoy) that told his wife to meet him at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"?


Kenny G walked out of an elevator, saying, "Man, that place really ROCKED!"


Kenny G is working on a new CD, featuring mostly Monk tunes. 
It's entitled "'Round About Noon" and includes the song titles:

  • Straight, No Changes
  • Well You Needn't
  • Born to be mild


Pat Metheny on Kenny G:

Pat Metheny, albeit somewhat involuntarily, has spoken out. In an animated diatribe he posted in response to a widely circulated RealVideo clip (which was clipped out of context) of Pat saying things like "Kenny G's music is the worst music ever created by human beings," Pat gets very specific about Kenny G's sax playing:

I first heard him a number of years ago playing as a sideman with Jeff Lorber when they opened a concert for my band. My impression was that he was someone who had spent a fair amount of time listening to the more pop oriented sax players of that time, like Grover Washington or David Sanborn, but was not really an advanced player, even in that style. He had major rhythmic problems and his harmonic and melodic vocabulary was extremely limited, mostly to pentatonic based and blues-lick derived patterns, and he basically exhibited only a rudimentary understanding of how to function as a professional soloist in an ensemble - Lorber was basically playing him off the bandstand in terms of actual music. But he did show a knack for connecting to the basest impulses of the large crowd by deploying his two or three most effective licks (holding long notes and playing fast runs - never mind that there were lots of harmonic clams in them) at the key moments to elicit a powerful crowd reaction (over and over again). The other main thing I noticed was that he also, as he does to this day, play horribly out of tune - consistently sharp.
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