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Roadies & Sound Engineers

Roadies & Sound Crew

How many sound men does it take to change a light bulb? One. Upon finding no replacement, he takes the original apart, repairs it with a chewing gum wrapper and duct tape, changes the screw mount to bayonet mount, finds an appropriate patch cable, and re-installs the bulb fifty feet from where it should have been, to the satisfaction of the rest of the band.

A soundman died and was met by an angel at the gates to heaven. "I've got good news and bad news", the angel said. "The good news is you get to do sound on the best equipment for the rest of eternity. You will never have to re-eq the room and no one will ever ask for more in the monitors. The bad news is St. Peter has a girlfriend and he thinks she can sing."

The concert was a a huge venue and load-in was going well so the soundman stopped by the hospitality tent for some refreshment. After a short while he got up, went to the front of the tent, stuck his head out and shouted:" Green goes up!" and went back to his seat. After another few minutes he got up, stuck his head out and shouted: "Green goes up" and resumed his seat. The bartender watched all this and finally had to inquire. "Well you see", said the soundman, "I have a crew of roadies out there placing trees around the stage and every so often I have to remind them that the green part goes on the top."

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