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Double Reed Jokes

An L.A. recording session ground to a halt yesterday when an oboe player, who was constantly sucking on her reed during rests and between takes, inadvertently inhaled and swallowed it.

The conductor immediately called 911 and asked what he should do.

The operator told him, "Use muted trumpet instead."

Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?
The bassoon burns longer.
What is a burning oboe good for?
Setting a bassoon on fire.
What is the definition of a half step?
Two oboes playing in unison.
What is the definition of a major second?
Two baroque oboes playing in unison.
How do you get an oboist to play A flat?
Take the batteries out of his electric tuner.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bassoon recital.
What's the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist?
A bad oboist can kill you.

Q: What's the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?
A: You can hit a baseball farther with a bassoon.