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Accordion Jokes

Definition of a gentleman:  Someone who can play the accordion.... but WON'T!

If you drop an accordion, a set of bagpipes and a viola off a 20-story building, which one lands first?
Who cares?
What's the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?
The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.
What do you call ten accordians at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
What's a bassoon good for?
Kindling for an accordion fire.
What's a accordion good for?
Learning how to fold a map.
What do you call a group of topless female accordian players?
Ladies in Pain
Bumper Stickers:
  1. Play an accordian--go to jail!
  2. Three rows and you're out!

Minimum safe distances between street musicians and the public:

  • Violinist: 25 feet
  • Bad Violinist: 50 feet
  • Tone Deaf Guitar Player who knows 3 chords: 75 feet
  • 15 year-old Electric Guitar Player with Nirvana fixation: 100 feet
  • Accordionist: 60 miles